20 March 2009MAKING LOVE: MEN AS LOVERS
Many men, no matter what else they may be, are not skilful lovers. Research has shown that the most consistent complaint made by women is that their partners do not take enough time over foreplay. Most sexual relationships tend to develop on a friendly basis for some time, and then gradually evolve into physical intimacy, stopping at petting. During this time, both partners are keen to please each other and usually find that they communicate extremely well. This gradual exploration and steady development means that couples are sexually relaxed the first time they try intercourse. But over time, with many men seeing penetration as the goal to be achieved as quickly as possible, talking and foreplay dwindle, much to the universal disappointment of women.
While a large part of being a good lover is to make and keep a relationship exciting, which depends on exploring and mastering a range of sexual activities, to my mind the most important thing is to satisfy each other’s emotional needs. Real sexual happiness means having positive feelings about your own sexuality and that of your partner.
Sex is our primary way of showing love. The best sex happens in the best relationships. Partners should explore and develop their sexuality with honesty and trust: honesty is in itself arousing. Sharing the wonder of sex with a sympathetic, loving and caring partner can be a magical voyage of intimacy and discovery.
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